Tuesday Morning Quarterback--Week 2

Ah, Week 2. How different it was from the opening week of NFL football! This week found teams running either really hot or really cold. As a result, only 2 fantasy teams scored over 100 points in a fairly low scoring week. Lots of teams had players pulled late, or who were active but didn't play. TMQ has learned to check the rosters around 12:45 on game day in order to try and not have slots filled with players who see no field time.

In the first matchup of the week, Blitzburg moved to 2-0 early in the season with a 97.09 to 55.95 win over Powder Puffs. Blitzburg looked good again this week, overcoming poor performances from R. Moss and M. Jones-Drew thanks to outstanding performances from Darren Sproles, Vincent Jackson, Nate Kaeding, and the Green Bay defense. Somehow, Coach B. Jagnow finds a way to win. The Puffs, on the other hand, are looking as girly as their team name sounds. I think team owner L. Taylor said it best when she noted "my team sucks eggs". On paper, the Puffs look good, but not a single offensive player netted 9 points. It may be time for Coach Taylor to think about trades, begging, borrowing, and writing a TMQ reveiw to rebuild her team. Either that or threaten to bench her starters. Even though she got teased relentlessly for her keeper choice, Favre is looking to be the better man at this point in the season.

Last year's champ Mt. Morris Mauraders rebounded from an opening week loss to potentially crush the hopes of a better season for ex-commissioner Risk. The Mauraders won a close battle, beating the Falcon Retrievers by 16.42 points. Coach P. Tenney's team had a great week. 4 offensive players were in double digits, allowing the sad performance of kicker Jeff Reed to be virtually overlooked. The Falcon Retrievers will surely blame a chaotic weekend to their loss. The FR started a QB that didn't see any playing time and should be thankful the NYG defense performed as projected. Too bad Team Risk didn't play another NYG (QB Eli Manning) as this one change would have given them a win. We don't want to hear any whining from Baltimore Jim!

Not choosing to follow his brother to the 1-1 ranks, TheRiskers had a decisive win over Mt. Morris Mayhem 110.29 to 77.34. Great performances by Matt Ryan, Owen Daniels, and the Minnesota defense helped TheRiskers speed ahead of the Mayhem, not looking back as Coach J. Tenney was choking on their dust. The Mayhem had horrible performances from normally reliable players (for example Hines Ward) and in the curse of the keepers, Steve Slaton continued his sophomore slump into week 2. While it pains Coach J. Tenney to sit her former WVU standout, it may be time to play Tim Hightower, who HAS been churning out numbers this year.

The Silver Bullets squad was one of only 2 teams to reach triple digits this week (the other was TheRiskers), producing the largest winning margin over Fairmont Fury of 41.36 points. The Silver Bullets squad featured 2 stars this week (Frank Gore and Dallas Clark) who combined for 47% of the Bullets total. The Bullets also got super efforts from Donald Driver, which helped the squad's few sub-par performers. And speaking of sub-par...what is going on with the Fairmont Fury team? The Fury had two players who did not see the field this week, accounting for ZERO points on the Fury's way to a 0-2 start. The Fury did not match their projected points for the week, also getting shameful performances from Clinton Portis and TJ Houshmandzadeh. It has been rumored around the league that coach B. Taylor is feeling sorry for his wife and has designed his team to mirror the Puffs in an effort to keep the same overall record in the league.

The final matchup was also the closest contest this week. George Crush eeked out a win over Ur Momma by 8.29 points. The Crush can thank their two stars for the week (Drew Brees and Andre Johnson) for making up for the rest of the squad. Outside of those two players and K Lawrence Tynes, NONE of the other players on the George Crush squad even came close to their projected stats. Ur Momma also got pitiful performances from many on her team, but like the Crush had 3 players in double digits. Remarkably in this game no players were wasted on the bench for either team. Truly in this week's matchup, the better team won. Coach George can now stop sending his longevity checks to Houston.

Stars:

QB--Drew Brees (George Crush) 20.71
WR--Andre Johnson (George Crush) 21.93
RB--Frank Gore (Silver Bullets) 30.40
TE--Dallas Clark (Silver Bullets) 20.20
K--Rian Lindell (Mt. Morris Mayhem) 16.00
DEF--Minnesota (TheRiskers) 25.04

Studs:

Ronnie Brown (Mt. Morris Mauraders) 21.07
Darren Sproles (Blitzburg) 21.12
Matt Ryan (TheRiskers) 20.70
Peyton Manning (Mt. Morris Mauraders) 18.78
Marques Colston (Mt. Morris Mauraders) 18.53

Duds:

Steve Slaton (Mt. Morris Mayhem) 3.93--continuing his horrible performance from week 1, the Mayhem should have benched her star. Perhaps next week she will.
Tom Brady (Powder Puffs) 2.53--dismal. That's about all I can say about a less than 50% completion rate and one interception.
Devin Hester (Silver Bullets) 1.96--performing well below expectations, Hester will probably rebound.
Randy Moss (Blitzburg) 1.60--to go along with his on the field leader.
Jeff Reed (Mt. Morris Mauraders) -1.00--poor Jeff Reed. Missed 2 field goals well within his range and would have won the game for the Steelers. Thankfully the Mauraders didn't need his leg to win.

Wasted on the Bench:

Chris Johnson (TheRiskers) 36.92--although TheRiskers won, this would have made the win a rout.
Eli Manning (Falcon Retrievers) 20.38--would have been the difference in a win vs a loss for FR.
Willis McGahee (Fairmont Fury) 17.93--while the final outcome would not have changed, at least the Fury would only have one player scoring no points this week.
Brett Favre (Powder Puffs) 12.88
Tim Hightower (Mt. Morris Mayhem) 11.60
Steve Breaston (Mt. Morris Mayhem) 5.53

Tuesday Morning Quarterback--Week 1

Welcome to the Tuesday Morning Quarterback weekly review of all things fantasy football! The first week of the fantasy season is now behind us, and what an interesting first week it was! Many perennial performers turned in sub-par achievements, none of the losing teams scored above 100 points, and most teams proved that defenses do win championships (well, weekly championships that is). Now, without further ado, on to the recap.

Claiming the top spot in Caterina's Coaches IX after week 1 is team Blitzburg. While the projected score was very close, Blitzburg had no problems causing last year's rookie champ to go down in a blaze of glory in week 1. Bolstered by great performances from Tony Romo, John Carlson, Darren Sproles, and the New York defense, Blitzburg racked up the most points this week. In fact, Blitzburg's two top scoring positions (QB and DEF) scored more points than the entire Mauraders team. Coach P. Tenney appeared to have a decent team together for week one, but you cannot pull off a win when only one position scores in double digits. Everyone be sure to ask Coach Tenney how that crow tastes....

In a stunning turn around of events, ex-commissioner Risk managed to get it right this week with the help of his co-owner, partner in life and crime, and all around good egg, former team owner L. Risk. I am sure Coach Risk is pinching himself to see if it was all a dream. It's real Jim, it's real! With the help of stars A. Peterson and R. Wayne, the Falcon Retrievers won with the largest margin of victory (96.89) in week 1, coming very close to the largest margin of victory in the history of the league. Ur Momma had no players in double digits, and I think this next statistic sums it all up...Chad Ochocinco had the most points on the team. Ouch! I am certain, however, that Ur Momma will turn things around in week two, as she is known to do.

The winning continued in the extended Risk family, as Coach John Risk steered his team to a win over first round draft winner Powder Puffs. Coach Risk got solid performances from Ryan Grant and the Minnesota defense, combined with the standard performance of Larry Fitzgerald, to overcome the arm of Powder Puff's QB, Tom Brady. Brady turned in good numbers in his first game back since injury, but unfortunately Powder Puffs got no performance from Kevin Walter, who was pulled before game time, and dismal points from Steve Smith and Chester Taylor. While on paper the Puffs have a solid team, Coach L. Taylor needs to start the pep talks (and perhaps trade talks) NOW.

George Crush opened up the season with a well deserved win, sending the Fairmont Fury head coach to the losers bracket to join his wife. Each team had four roster spots score in double digits, but just as in another game, the Crush's top two players (star Drew Brees and Tennessee defense) scored more points than the entire Fury squad. Coach B. Taylor is probably thinking he shouldn't have questioned the Titan's defense, which surpassed their projected points, while his Ravens defense missed their projected points by over 50%. I do give props to the Fury coach for drafting Jeremy Shockey, who turned in a great performance in the losing effort.

In the final matchup of week 1, Coach J. Tenney pulled off a win late in the week squarely on the shoulders of the Philadelphia defense (accounting for 54.5% of the Mayhem's points). The Silver Bullets had a much more balanced game, with four players in double digits, but in the end it was just not enough to overcome 5 sacks, 5 interceptions, 2 fumbles recovered, and a TD scored by Philadelphia's flying defense. It has been reported to TMQ, however, that Coach J. Tenney has no plans of changing the colors of her home from black and gold to green and white.

Stars:

QB--Drew Brees (George Crush) 41.95
WR--Reggie Wayne (Falcon Retrievers) 18.80
RB--Adrian Peterson (Falcon Retrievers) 31.20
TE--John Carlson (Blitzburg) 18.33
K--Nick Folk (Silver Bullets) 12.00
DEF--Philadelphia (Mt. Morris Mayhem) 60.04

Studs:

Minnesota Defense (TheRiskers) 30.12
Tony Romo (Blitzburg) 25.96
Thomas Jones (George Crush) 19.13
Donoval McNabb (Falcon Retrievers) 18.78

**it must be noted that Tony Romo was the only non-defense position to score higher than 20 points (not including stars noted above), and I am generally opposed to listing defenses as studs, although I will give credit when credit is due.**

Duds:

Anthony Fasano (Mt. Morris Mauraders) -5.33--2 costly fumbles and a TD called back for holding
Carson Palmer (UR Momma) -2.69--2 interceptions, but in fairness to Carson, his receivers really dropped the ball (no pun intended) and caused his Fantasy points to suffer
Jay Cutler (Fairmont Fury) -0.01--4 interceptions...and I bet Fairmont Fury's coach is questioning his keeper after that performance
Steve Slaton (Mt. Morris Mayhem) 0.47--a paultry 17 yards on 9 carries. Oh Stevie, you are breaking my heart!
Rob Bironas (TheRiskers) 1.00--2 field goals missed within 37 yards
Reggie Bush (Falcon Retrievers) 2.04--69 total yards and two fumbled punts...another keeper choice that may be biting the retrievers in the butt

Wasted on the Bench:

I was unable to determine these since the interim commissioner's secretary could not figure out how to print StatTracker. Stay tuned next week to see which coaches left valuable players on the bench!

If you are interested in writing a Tuesday Morning Quarterback (TMQ) review, you may e-mail the interim commish with the week you would like to review. For that you will be awarded two player moves.