Claiming the top spot in Caterina's Coaches IX after week 1 is team Blitzburg. While the projected score was very close, Blitzburg had no problems causing last year's rookie champ to go down in a blaze of glory in week 1. Bolstered by great performances from Tony Romo, John Carlson, Darren Sproles, and the New York defense, Blitzburg racked up the most points this week. In fact, Blitzburg's two top scoring positions (QB and DEF) scored more points than the entire Mauraders team. Coach P. Tenney appeared to have a decent team together for week one, but you cannot pull off a win when only one position scores in double digits. Everyone be sure to ask Coach Tenney how that crow tastes....
In a stunning turn around of events, ex-commissioner Risk managed to get it right this week with the help of his co-owner, partner in life and crime, and all around good egg, former team owner L. Risk. I am sure Coach Risk is pinching himself to see if it was all a dream. It's real Jim, it's real! With the help of stars A. Peterson and R. Wayne, the Falcon Retrievers won with the largest margin of victory (96.89) in week 1, coming very close to the largest margin of victory in the history of the league. Ur Momma had no players in double digits, and I think this next statistic sums it all up...Chad Ochocinco had the most points on the team. Ouch! I am certain, however, that Ur Momma will turn things around in week two, as she is known to do.
The winning continued in the extended Risk family, as Coach John Risk steered his team to a win over first round draft winner Powder Puffs. Coach Risk got solid performances from Ryan Grant and the Minnesota defense, combined with the standard performance of Larry Fitzgerald, to overcome the arm of Powder Puff's QB, Tom Brady. Brady turned in good numbers in his first game back since injury, but unfortunately Powder Puffs got no performance from Kevin Walter, who was pulled before game time, and dismal points from Steve Smith and Chester Taylor. While on paper the Puffs have a solid team, Coach L. Taylor needs to start the pep talks (and perhaps trade talks) NOW.
George Crush opened up the season with a well deserved win, sending the Fairmont Fury head coach to the losers bracket to join his wife. Each team had four roster spots score in double digits, but just as in another game, the Crush's top two players (star Drew Brees and Tennessee defense) scored more points than the entire Fury squad. Coach B. Taylor is probably thinking he shouldn't have questioned the Titan's defense, which surpassed their projected points, while his Ravens defense missed their projected points by over 50%. I do give props to the Fury coach for drafting Jeremy Shockey, who turned in a great performance in the losing effort.
In the final matchup of week 1, Coach J. Tenney pulled off a win late in the week squarely on the shoulders of the Philadelphia defense (accounting for 54.5% of the Mayhem's points). The Silver Bullets had a much more balanced game, with four players in double digits, but in the end it was just not enough to overcome 5 sacks, 5 interceptions, 2 fumbles recovered, and a TD scored by Philadelphia's flying defense. It has been reported to TMQ, however, that Coach J. Tenney has no plans of changing the colors of her home from black and gold to green and white.
Stars:
QB--Drew Brees (George Crush) 41.95
WR--Reggie Wayne (Falcon Retrievers) 18.80
RB--Adrian Peterson (Falcon Retrievers) 31.20
TE--John Carlson (Blitzburg) 18.33
K--Nick Folk (Silver Bullets) 12.00
DEF--Philadelphia (Mt. Morris Mayhem) 60.04
Studs:
Minnesota Defense (TheRiskers) 30.12
Tony Romo (Blitzburg) 25.96
Thomas Jones (George Crush) 19.13
Donoval McNabb (Falcon Retrievers) 18.78
**it must be noted that Tony Romo was the only non-defense position to score higher than 20 points (not including stars noted above), and I am generally opposed to listing defenses as studs, although I will give credit when credit is due.**
Duds:
Anthony Fasano (Mt. Morris Mauraders) -5.33--2 costly fumbles and a TD called back for holding
Carson Palmer (UR Momma) -2.69--2 interceptions, but in fairness to Carson, his receivers really dropped the ball (no pun intended) and caused his Fantasy points to suffer
Jay Cutler (Fairmont Fury) -0.01--4 interceptions...and I bet Fairmont Fury's coach is questioning his keeper after that performance
Steve Slaton (Mt. Morris Mayhem) 0.47--a paultry 17 yards on 9 carries. Oh Stevie, you are breaking my heart!
Rob Bironas (TheRiskers) 1.00--2 field goals missed within 37 yards
Reggie Bush (Falcon Retrievers) 2.04--69 total yards and two fumbled punts...another keeper choice that may be biting the retrievers in the butt
Wasted on the Bench:
I was unable to determine these since the interim commissioner's secretary could not figure out how to print StatTracker. Stay tuned next week to see which coaches left valuable players on the bench!
If you are interested in writing a Tuesday Morning Quarterback (TMQ) review, you may e-mail the interim commish with the week you would like to review. For that you will be awarded two player moves.
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